Dr. Lesa Stern, Communication Studies Dept. Specialty Resources from Dr. Lesa Stern
This page is dedicated to sharing communication behaviors associated with greater resilience to parents of young adults transitioning to college.
Dr. Stern graduated from UCLA and earned a master’s degree and doctorate in communication from the University of Arizona. She joined the Westmont faculty in 2007 after teaching 13 years at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville. Her areas of expertise and research include interpersonal communication and the uses of images in advertising. Her current interpersonal research projects explore the role of interpersonal communication and its impact on one’s own and others’ resilience. Dr. Stern is also the lead interpersonal communication specialist on a robotics team studying human-robot interaction and adaptation. She has published articles on listening to gossip, one of the first scholarly studies of Facebook, and articles on the effects of rhetorical figures in advertising (the impact of hyperbole and body distortion images in advertising).
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Starting (or returning to) college online has its unique set of challenges. Luckily, they can be overcome (or minimized) with some effort! |
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For many, college is starting online this year. We can empower our students to "adult at home," taking on some household responsibilities to signal their transition to college and young adulthood. Open conversations discussing and negotiating new expectations (yours AND theirs) before they start school online will help. |
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My guess is that we all could use a little help with setting and maintaining boundaries so that we can spend our time on high priority items and have margins to deal with unexpected things that arise. These tips are helpful for family, friends, and students. |
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Parenting research shows that allowing increased autonomy along with warmth and support is associated with greater resilience for your student. Here are some ideas for increased autonomy. Feel free to use these tips or brainstorm your own. |
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Many of us have had to pivot to working from home and/or online. Help your student and yourself by trying some of these tips... |
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Parents and students alike can overcommit and become depleted (even because of too many good things). Pray about and say YES to high priority items. |
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Letting go and letting our students drive is an act of trust. It shows that we have faith in their ability to make thoughtful decisions and increases their self-efficacy. |
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In addition to hand hygiene this COVID season, staying healthy also relies on good sleep. Let's practice some good sleep hygiene. |
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How we praise our children helps or hinders their attitudes and learning. Making a small shift in how we praise can make a world of difference! |
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We have all heard of helicopter parenting/behaviors, but we normally don't think WE are doing them ourselves...We are just trying to help our kids! Here are some contrasts between helping and hovering. |
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You do it, I do it, and our kids do it. But we need to stop and see/value ourselves and others for who they are -- with our/their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Research on gratitude shows that acknowledging/focusing on the good in our lives improves mental and physical health outcomes. Your kids are looking at YOU and often mirroring what they see; Therefore shifting your own internal and external communication can positively impact you and them. |
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Psychologists have identified many cognitive distortions that harm our mental health and relationships. The first step is awarenesses of the distortions that we live by. To increase resilience for ourselves and our kids, a second step is to stop or decrease our communication that perpetuates these distortions (symptoms). Ultimately, we want to change these mental habits (the real problem) into more healthy ones. <there are many good websites that provide tips for eliminating distortions! example: https://psychcentral.com/lib/fixing-cognitive-distortions/ |
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Taking care of ourselves helps us to be more resilient when hard times come. Try adding a self-care action each week. Remember-progress over perfection! |
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Let's increase our warmth, particularly now that students have moved back to campus and the stress of the semester (midterms and projects) is increasing. |
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We so often are focused on what we can say or do to help our students. LISTENING well is an overlooked but powerful way to see, hear, and acknowledge our students. Sometimes they just need to be heard. Listening well can help them solve their own problems and increase their self-efficacy. |
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In addition to all the psychological and social help/tips for dealing with anxiety and fear, those of us in a faith community can call upon God to help us through hard times. So many times He says "Do not fear...for I am with you." We do not avoid all the hard times, but we have God to give us comfort and strength to get through them. |
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One of the most helpful ways to build resilience is to increasingly adopt a growth mindset. Think of progress over perfection. |
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Bill Gates said, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” We all can benefit from long term thinking and perseverance for going after the things that really matter. Start with defining your goals and taking that first step. |
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| Part of resilience is accepting the disappointments in life and trusting God in them. Sometimes, there are obstacles to overcome (need perseverance in overcoming) and sometimes there is a "NOT that path" or "NOT yet" to accept (need perseverance in living with that NO). Whichever NO we discern, we can build our faith and resilience by trusting and praising God. Download here. |
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So many times we have a critical frame of mind when we interact with others and engage in the fundamental attribution error. I appreciate the Ignatian Exercises' "presupposition" that calls us to make the most positive assumptions/attributions toward our partners. |
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A fitting post for Election Day. Either way it turns out... |
